May 06, 2012

Maddie once went months without a flair-up. Her Pediatric Rheumatologist thought she was heading toward a remission. Then it struck, her worst flair-up ever, until now. The reason I feel like this is the worst is due to the number of joints involved...knees, ankles, wrists, knuckles, etc. It's following the same pattern as my arthritis. Maddie's joints are painful and stiff in the mornings. By 11 AM she's no longer stiff and for about 8 hours in the day she is able to move freely. Then she slips into a state of more stiffness and pain in the evening. This is so unlike it's been with past flairs where she has had one or two affected joints which are stiff in the morning and gradually get better throughout the day being the best in the evening. 

I have been feeling so discouraged that her hands and wrists are now affected. Maddie is such a talented musician. Her violin teacher was devastated when he heard about the arthritis in her hands. She has studied with him for 3 years and he has great plans for her musical future. I too, as her piano teacher, have such great plans. Maddie has performed well in several piano competitions, winning prizes. It's tough for a little blonde white girl to compete in the Asian-American dominated music competitions. And yet she amazes the judges with her natural artistry. The fact that this gene was passed to my daughter through me causes tremendous guilt even though I know that I had no knowledge of this gene until 2 years ago. The heart doesn't listen to logic.

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